When your loved one dies, while it is a time of grief, it is also a time to connect with others who have loved the deceased, celebrate that person’s life and all of the gifts they contributed during their time on Earth.
If you do not belong to a particular religion or religious institution, there are many ways to create a meaning memorial service or celebration of life, in honor of the deceased.
The service might include:
A FAVORITE PRAYER OR POEM: If the deceased had a favorite book or poem, that can be read, or even song lyrics. Maybe you grew up with religious traditions you no longer practice, however there might be a bible verse or other scripture that is still meaningful to you. This is a great opportunity to incorporate that reading into the ceremony.
CANDLE LIGHTING: Lighting candles holds a history and tradition of honor, and sacred respect. There are several ways to use a candle-lighting service, both to remember your loved one, and to honor your feelings during this time. This is an opportunity to invite certain family members or close friends forward to participate.
PHOTOS: If space allows at the venue and if time allows to gather them prior to the service, consider a display of many photos taken of your loved one, in all types of activities, on vacations, with friends, with family, etc. This is a lovely way for guests to reminisce as they arrive and are waiting for the service to begin.
STORIES: Allow 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how many people attend, for guests to talk. Welcome them to come forward, in their own time, to share a story, a quality they loved about the deceased, how they were impacted by something that person did for them; it can be anything really.
Sharing memories and hearing perspectives from others can begin the healing process. Sometimes this portion of the service even allows for some joyful memories and a few shared laughs.
LOCATION: Where the service takes place can be just as important as the memorial itself. If you don’t belong to a religious congregation, you might not have a venue at the ready.
Create a beautiful intimate event in your home backyard, at a favorite spot of the deceased, or even at one of San Diego’s beautiful beaches. How about a favorite park? (If you choose a public outdoor location, be sure to look into any required permits.)
As an officiant, when performing the service, I also include time to guide guests through a brief visualization exercise. It is for guests to have a private inner moment to say thank you, goodbye, and let go.
Talk with your ceremony officiant or minister, and members of your extended family, about what to include and the intent of the service. Together you can craft a meaningful experience for all.
Gayle Feallock, owner of Just Imagine Ministry, is an officiant of nondenominational, sacred ceremonies for all of life’s most important moments, including weddings, baby blessings and memorials. Learn more at www.justimagineministry.com.
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