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Posts Tagged ‘San Diego nondenominational memorial minister’

“I’ll be there in Spirit” . . . do you really mean it?

You make plans with girlfriends for a fun night out. Something comes up so you have to cancel, and in your text you also say, “but I’ll be there in Spirit!”

Does that mean, for the duration of the event you’re missing, that you will be in prayer or meditation, thinking about your friends and their fun night out?

Or, do you say it just to soften the blow? I get it, you don’t want to offend or dismay your host, and somehow this phrase indicates you’re REALLY sorry.
But, in my view, it’s a cop-out. What is wrong with simply saying, “I won’t be able to attend. I’m so sorry. Hope you have a great time.”
Period.

Why do I think this is such a big deal?
Because, tossing this phrase around cheapens it for when you really DO mean it.

spiritFor example, I recently gave a reiki healing to a client on the other side of the country. A long-distance reiki session.
This involved instructing the client to lie down at a specific time, eyes closed, focusing on their issue.
This involved setting up my reiki room and getting into a deep meditative state, intending that the reiki energy was becoming activated in my client.
In this case, I really WAS there in spirit. Focusing completely on engaging on a spiritual level at a long distance. It’s quite powerful. I did some work with reiki on her solar plexus. After the session she told me she experienced a lot of sensation around her stomach area. I didn’t tell her that’s what I was working on.

OR, during ceremony, when someone has passed and is there in spirit.
I’ve had this experience particularly at baby blessings: when a grandparent has passed, and we invoke their name during the baby blessing. For example, the parents of the baby have experienced a hummingbird buzzing by at the moment the grandparent is mentioned.

During a memorial service, at a sacred moment, something goes a little screwy with the A/V equipment. The client experiences that as the one who’s passed is sending a little ‘hello’ – especially if that person had generally been a fun trickster in their lifetime, too.

Words are powerful. Remember that the next time you catch yourself saying “I’ll be there in spirit!”
The truth is, you really do have the power within you to be there in spirit, whether you experience that through prayer, meditation, or simply spending time focusing  good wishes on another person or situation – it’s an incredible feeling, and can actually be experienced by the other person or have a positive impact.

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Two weeks ago I had the privilege of performing the memorial service for an extraordinary lady. She had lived an incredible life – she was a seeker, teacher, and healer. And a writer of children’s books.

mothergooseNot just any children’s books. She re-imagined classic childhood tales and brought to them a new awakening for the next generation.

What an incredible legacy she leaves – her books will continue to touch and awaken generations to come.

 

 

 

 

At the service, her son read this beautiful piece from Wake Up Mother Goose:

love poem - matt-illustrated

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When your loved one dies, while it is a time of grief, it is also a time to connect with others who have loved the deceased, celebrate that person’s life and all of the gifts they contributed during their time on Earth.

If you do not belong to a particular religion or religious institution, there are many ways to create a meaning memorial service or celebration of life, in honor of the deceased.

The service might include:

A FAVORITE PRAYER OR POEM: If the deceased had a favorite book or poem, that can be read, or even song lyrics. Maybe you grew up with religious traditions you no longer practice, however there might be a bible verse or other scripture that is still meaningful to you. This is a great opportunity to incorporate that reading into the ceremony.

memorialcandlesCANDLE LIGHTING: Lighting candles holds a history and tradition of honor, and sacred respect. There are several ways to use a candle-lighting service, both to remember your loved one, and to honor your feelings during this time. This is an opportunity to invite certain family members or close friends forward to participate.

PHOTOS: If space allows at the venue and if time allows to gather them prior to the service, consider a display of many photos taken of your loved one, in all types of activities, on vacations, with friends, with family, etc. This is a lovely way for guests to reminisce as they arrive and are waiting for the service to begin.

STORIES: Allow 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how many people attend, for guests to talk. Welcome them to come forward, in their own time, to share a story, a quality they loved about the deceased, how they were impacted by something that person did for them; it can be anything really.

Sharing memories and hearing perspectives from others can begin the healing process. Sometimes this portion of the service even allows for some joyful memories and a few shared laughs.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALOCATION: Where the service takes place can be just as important as the memorial itself. If you don’t belong to a religious congregation, you might not have a venue at the ready.

Create a beautiful intimate event in your home backyard, at a favorite spot of the deceased, or even at one of San Diego’s beautiful beaches. How about a favorite park? (If you choose a public outdoor location, be sure to look into any required permits.)

As an officiant, when performing the service, I also include time to guide guests through a brief visualization exercise. It is for guests to have a private inner moment to say thank you, goodbye, and let go.

Talk with your ceremony officiant or minister, and members of your extended family, about what to include and the intent of the service. Together you can craft a meaningful experience for all.

Gayle Feallock, owner of Just Imagine Ministry, is an officiant of nondenominational, sacred ceremonies for all of life’s most important moments, including weddings, baby blessings and memorials. Learn more at www.justimagineministry.com.

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