A call to Brides and Grooms,
As a wedding planner and officiant, I am always quick to point out that I am in the Celebration business, not the marriage business. Even so, with the recent statistics that close to 40% of Americans believe the institution of marriage is doomed, this definitely could have an effect on weddings.
According to a recent AP article, about 39 percent of Americans said marriage was becoming obsolete. These statistics about this institution that we have held so dear, that in many ways is the cornerstone of our society, could seem quite daunting and disheartening.
And yet, it gives me hope. What an opportunity to revisit one of the most important structures of our American society! This is an exciting time to embrace the idea of shifting the concept of marriage to better accommodate people’s ever-changing, ever-complicated lives and increasingly diverse beliefs about how they want to be in this world. Sometimes when people don’t fit into a perceived mold or stereotype, they believe their way of living isn’t as valued. I believe any time someone takes a new look at tradition, it should be celebrated.
I was drawn to, and continue to enjoy being a part of, the wedding industry because I believe that celebration is so important. We do not celebrate enough. We do not celebrate love enough.
Weddings are an opportunity to be with, in one location, on one day, all the love that you have created for yourself, in the faces of family, friends, colleagues. It is a forum from which you can look back at all the love and support you have received from friends and family to get you to this place, with this partner.
It is an opportunity to set the stage and tone for the marriage that you would like to create; that you are creating.
High divorce rate and low optimism for the state of marriage is not a reason to stop celebrating love. It is an opportunity to have a new viewpoint about marriage. Sometimes things have to be taken apart to allow for something even better to come along. And a new concept of the institution of marriage offers an amazing opportunity to revisit the state of weddings.
Why do People Love Weddings? Probably for as many reasons as there are wedding guests. They love this singular moment of celebration for celebration’s sake.
And they DO love tradition: it offers a focal point for them to reference, such as What will the dress look like? How elaborate is the cake? Will the bride & groom have a special first dance? Who will catch the bouquet? These are time-honored traditions that help people to celebrate in a familiar framework.
At the same time, do those traditions reflect your true personality and vision? Why not re-create those same traditions, with a twist? Or change them up completely?
For example, instead of a first dance, why not invite EVERYONE onto the dance floor to dance with you.
Instead of a cake-cutting, what if you created a tower of cupcakes, or mini-wedding cakes for each guest table. Or simply offered a donut station instead for that sweet savory after the meal.
Why not invite guests to paint a picture of what love means to them, to replace the guest book?
In my book, the only rule for a successful wedding is Loving Intention.
As a Bride and Groom you are faced with so many questions when planning your wedding:
What is the etiquette for this situation?
What is popular in weddings right now?
What should we do if . . . ?
As a successful coordinator planning weddings for more than 8 years, my job is to formulate solutions for all of your questions, problems, and challenges.
We handle all the details and planning, giving you the space to get creative you’re your vision. Now that you have expert guidance, I invite you to revisit your celebration with Loving Intention.
Using past structures as a reference point is always a good idea when you are first starting out on the planning journey; sort of like using a template or blue print. Let’s go beyond that – what would you truly like to celebrate with your wedding?
Gratitude for everyone in your life?
Enthusiasm for what lays ahead?
Simply a moment to witness love?
I believe the best celebrations include a balance of honoring the love between the bride and the groom, and creating opportunities for participation for all of your guests. Don’t be intimidated by opinion and tradition.
When you attend a wedding, what is the most important experience for you? I’ve witnessed guests let their guard down at weddings in ways they might not ever do in any other social situation:
They dance their hearts out, even those who say they don’t dance.
They take the first step toward mending a family wound.
They express their deepest emotions to each other in a room full of people.
Weddings have evolved over the ages and continue to do so. In the last few years we have seen couples perform highly choreographed first dances to express their own unique personalities as well as entertain their guests, moving away from the standard sedate waltz and incorporating their favorite hiphop or Top40 songs, as they break from the mold and let loose.
If marriage as we know it is evolving in this century, even in this decade, what can we create with wedding celebrations, and how will you participate in that evolution?
Just Imagine . . .
Read Full Post »
And here is evidence of my very first wedding ceremony (yes, I was a blonde back then!) at the Kona Kai on Shelter Island.
Just Imagine Love: Weddings & Ceremonies Blog 