What does Thanksgiving mean to me? Sounds a little like a first-grader’s oral report, right?
But it’s an important question. Beyond the scope of the holiday’s origins, the founding of our nation, and the gathering of family, two thoughts come to my mind on subject of Thanksgiving:
Purpose
The first is, in the broad stroke of life purpose, How Can I Be of Service? To me this question is an extension of expressing gratitude – giving thanks for this life and making sure I use it for good.
Before every ceremony or service I officiate, whether it is a wedding, memorial service, or baby blessing, I think to myself: “How can I be of service to this couple?” “How can I be of service to this family?”
The question’s intention is not to come up with a specific answer. Rather the question sets my state of mind to be the best use of me in this moment.
It’s also a great way to reduce any nervousness, so that I focus only on the situation on hand, rather than my performance.
Rather than thinking of ‘service’ as a thing you do (eg. if you volunteer), I invite you to adopt it as a mentality. I’ve found that this way of thinking can even bring about solutions, as well as reduce anxiety.
Oftentimes when entering into any situation – for example a work meeting or event- we can have this idea in our heads that, “I have to make something happen – I have to convince or persuade” or simply “I have to get through this.” It can feel overwhelming or resistant.
No matter your profession or purpose, if you can embrace this query – “How Can I Be of Service?” – it’s amazing how it opens the field a bit, to bring you new insights, help keep you in the moment. It can even present wonderful resources and solutions.
The Little Things
The second thought that comes to mind on Thanksgiving is that of all of the little things for which I am thankful.
Again, in times of stress, I find that if I’m worrying or upset about a particular situation or person or outcome: something that really helps me is to stop and think of little things for which I am grateful.
For instance if my mind is racing while I’m doing the dishes, I catch myself and think: I’m grateful for hot water. I’m grateful for these dishes. I’m grateful for the food I just ate.
Just one little thing after another as quick as I can think of them.
This mental gratitude list is akin to taking a deep breath: It takes me out of the mental spin for a moment and brings me back to present.
This mental gratitude list is akin to taking a deep breath
Recently I was put to the test, as both of my parents were challenged with serious health issues that landed them in the hospital, one after the other. They are each in a different state, as are my two sisters and I.
My parents are both better and back in their homes. However it was a month of endless stress with hospital stays, doctor visits, tests, insurance battles, caregiver negotiations, etc.
Any time I felt overwhelmed, if I could remember to, I would start that gratitude list in my head. It helped me breathe. {“I’m grateful for my family.” “I’m grateful my parents have good insurance.” “I’m grateful for the wonderful doctors and nurses.” “I’m grateful for a lovely glass of wine after a day spent at the hospital.” }
What I have been most grateful for this past month, are my two sisters. The three of us make a great team in helping our parents, each with our different strengths and skills, passing the baton to accommodate our work/life schedules.
I dedicate this Thanksgiving post to my sisters, Lynn and Kay. I can count on them.
This picture of us says it all (I’m the one on top):
Sisters pyramid (I’m the one on top)
May you experience much gratitude this season. Happy Thanksgiving!
And here is evidence of my very first wedding ceremony (yes, I was a blonde back then!) at the Kona Kai on Shelter Island.
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