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Posts Tagged ‘expert wedding advice’

A Unity Ceremony to Savor

Posted in Outdoor Weddings, Themes, Wedding Ceremony, Yum, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Congratulations Laura & Laura! What a beautiful wedding celebration today at Rancho Buena Vista Adobe in Vista.

These two amazing women were such a treat, it was an honor to officiate their wedding ceremony.

They created a very unique Unity Ceremony, inspired by their love of chocolate. And during the ceremony, shared with their guests!

A delicious ceremony treat for wedding guests

A delicious ceremony treat for wedding guests

 

There will be times that are sweet,
filled with cream and honey,
and times that are dark and bittersweet.
And probably some times that are really nutty!
But every experience will nourish your body,
heart and soul.

 

It is a great reminder to get creative with your wedding ceremony! Think about what you love (like chocolate!) and incorporate that into your ceremony.

 

PS. Wedding planner extraordinaire Julie Scrivner pulled everything together with ease!

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Incorporating Ritual into Your Wedding Ceremony

Posted in Themes, Wedding Accessories, Wedding Ceremony, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2014| Leave a Comment »

In addition to favorite readings and poems, what else can you include in your wedding ceremony to give it substance and personality?

Wedding ceremonies based in traditional religions have rituals that weave the ceremony together and help the couple feel anchored in the message.

For example the smashing of the glass in the Jewish faith suggests, as a modern interpretation, the fragility of the relationship and importance of tending to it daily.
The Unity Candle in the Catholic faith represents two families and two individuals uniting as one.
In the Chinese heritage the tea ceremony performed on an auspicious date is an intimate ritual to honor family.

So, if you don’t practice a religion that provides these ‘anchors’ of timeless ritual, you can create your own! During the ceremony it’s a moment to do something together, to create together as a couple.

Questions to ask yourself when deciding what to include:

~What is important about including this?
~How can we make this ritual meaningful for our unique relationship?
~Is it timeless? Ten years from now will the meaning still hold true for us?

A few ideas:

Unity Ceremonies are designed for exactly that – uniting two together. Two individuals uniting into one couple. Two families joining as one extended family. One partner with children combining with another partner, to create their new family.

Jen and Jon loved sailing, so "tying the knot" as their unity ceremony made perfect sense. Photo by Philip DeFalco

Jen and Jon loved sailing, so “tying the knot” as their unity ceremony made perfect sense. Photo by Philip DeFalco

Anything that symbolizes this experience is a great ritual to include. Think of things that are important to you and your relationship, experiences you enjoy, and find a way to incorporate that as your unity ceremony.

Start Something New. Planting a tree is an elegant and organic ritual, and supports the environment as well! The roots can grow deep, symbolizing strength and stability. The branches will grow tall and wide, symbolizing your reach and growth. The leaves bud and blossom – potential for new beginnings within your relationship.

Just enough room for a bottle of wine, opener, two letters. And I love the well-used old hammer - what a great touch! Photo by Anika London.

A wedding time capsule can include whatever you want. This one has just enough room for a bottle of wine, opener, two love letters. And seal it up with a well-used old hammer – what a great touch! Photo by Anika London.

Design a Wedding Time Capsule. This can be a promise for the future, and an opportunity, when you open it, to look back on how far you’ve come. To bring that ceremony day along with you into the future. To let the ceremony itself be your anchor in your marriage.

Just as you might create new traditions in your new marriage and family, you can start with your wedding ceremony.

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Choosing the Best Wedding Officiant for You

Posted in Beach Weddings, Ceremony and Reception Locations, Outdoor Weddings, Park Wedding, Private Home Weddings, Resources, Uncategorized, Wedding Ceremony, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2014| Leave a Comment »

For couples planning their wedding in Southern California, you have so many options and choices available to you. And the number of wedding officiants, and officiating styles, is aplenty.

So how do you choose the best one for you?

Some things to Consider:
~What is the tone of your wedding?
~What is their style? Easygoing, serious, joyful?
~How important is the Spiritual or Religious aspect for you?
~Do you feel comfortable talking with them?

Are they flexible? Recently I met with a couple who said they had attended a friend’s wedding and the officiant was quite stern with the groom during the ceremony, when he slid the ring all the way onto her finger before completing the final declaration, “with this ring, I thee wed . . . ” So the officiant made the groom take the ring off and put it on again. REALLY?

Rules and procedures are there to HELP you, to ensure things go smoothly.

Photo by Anika London

Photo by Anika London

They should never take precedence over the joy and intention of the moment. If you don’t do it perfectly, it’s ok. As your wedding officiant I am there to guide you, and certainly would never chastise you about not doing it exactly right.

On the other hand, will your officiant keep you on track in the ceremony creation process or do they just do everything you say? This is most likely a new process for you, and sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know. Your officiant should have the experience and authority to make you aware of why something might not work the way you envision, and to find an alternative.

A few questions to ask a wedding officiant before you book:

– What exactly do your services include?
– How many weddings do you perform in one day? (is there a chance they will be late to yours, or have to leave early?)
– Do you have backup in case of emergency?
– What is your experience performing weddings and what is your training?
– Do you attend and/or conduct rehearsal?
– What do you wear?

And maybe the most important question of all:
What made you decide to become a wedding officiant? What is your passion and purpose? (Does it align with yours?)

 

Just Imagine Wedding Ceremony Officiating Services:

What Can You Expect? 

·      Creating Your Ceremony: After our initial meeting, you will receive a suggested outline for your ceremony, based on our discussions of your vision and intentions.
You will also receive suggestions for readings and poems, unity ceremonies, and other wedding rituals. You might love these, or they will simply help get you started in finding or creating your own.

·      Consultations: The ceremony creation process takes place via email and phone calls as needed to answer all of your questions; guide you in your selections of wording, poems and readings; and put the finishing touches on your ceremony vision.

·      Rehearsal:  A week prior to your wedding date, I will collect the names of everyone in your wedding party, and those walking down the aisle. With this information I will assist you in creating the processional order and use this final “Master” list to conduct rehearsal.
If you have engaged the services of a wedding planner, I will still attend the rehearsal, to review important aspects of the ceremony with you.

·      Officiating Your Wedding Ceremony: On your wedding day I arrive at the ceremony location at least 30 minutes prior to start time. This allows time for sound check, confirming last-minute items, etc.
If your ceremony requires it, I can provide a small table & linen.
Generally I wear a suit while officiating your ceremony. (I have been known to go barefoot in the sand if requested!)

·      Mailing Marriage License: After the ceremony is complete, I will sign the license, as will your two chosen witnesses. On the next business day, I will mail your marriage license in for you. It takes about two weeks for the county to process and make your marriage certificate available to you.

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Spiritual not religious

Posted in Beach Weddings, Ceremony and Reception Locations, Outdoor Weddings, Wedding Ceremony, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Spiritual not religious: Navigating the G-word in Your Wedding Ceremony 

“We’re spiritual but not religious.” I’m sitting at my favorite Starbucks with a newly engaged couple. They are getting married next spring and we are meeting for the first time to discuss their wedding ceremony.

We’ve talked about how they met, the proposal, why this is the one person they want to spend the rest of their life with, and some ideas of what they would like to include in their ceremony.
As a wedding minister, I love hearing the story of their relationship and encourage them to weave it into their ceremony so their guests can enjoy it as well.

And then we get to this tricky bit:

When I ask them about their religious background and current spiritual practice, many couples respond, “spiritual but not religious.”

And to my followup question of, “What does ‘spiritual’ mean to you?” the answer gets a little more elusive.

Many couples feel a connection to something greater, yet the traditional religion they grew up with no longer resonates with their sense of values and in living their daily life.
And for their wedding ceremony, the idea of a reading from the Bible or mentioning God makes them feel a little squirmy.

One bride responded: “I think being spiritual is being in touch with the Earth, being good to people, understanding there is something greater that helps you out in hard times.”
Other responses have been, “It is living your life to make a difference, to do your best every day” and “I feel a close spiritual connection when I practice yoga.”

Many couples respond with, “I don’t know.” And that is ok.

If you want a truly secular ceremony, you can find a judge, captain on a boat, or have a friend sign up as deputy for a day to officiate your wedding.

If you are choosing not to include a spiritual element in your ceremony simply because it seems confusing or uncomfortable, maybe it doesn’t have to be.

As a nondenominational minister, I do invoke and invite the Divine, but require no proof or definition of your faith. Whatever spiritual means to you, even if you are grappling with that definition, that is what we create for you in the ceremony.

Perhaps your story of how you met had a serendipitious quality. Does it feel like there was something larger at work, ensuring that you two would meet?

Or, maybe your relationship was hard-won: so many obstacles placed before you that it is a marvel you will finally be walking down the aisle at all. In this instance, maybe it was only your faith in each other, in the face of everything else, that kept you two together.

In both cases, or any variation in between, incorporating that experience through a reading could speak to the nature of the Divine in your story.

Some traditional readings are popular and moving for a reason. For example, Corinthians 1-4: “Love is Patient, Love is Kind,” brings everything back to the simple yet powerful concept of love. “The Art of a Good Marriage” helps you to remember to be your best.

But don’t just toss in a reading because it is familiar or easy. Take some time to find something that really moves you and can deliver your idea of the Divine in a way that articulates what you might not be able to. It could even be a popular song lyric or excerpt from a favorite novel.

At the completion of the wedding ceremony, and before I pronounce a couple married, I always say a blessing. I don’t believe a blessing is a restriction, or an agreement with a certain religious scripture. Rather it is a quiet YES: the Divine brought you together, but the two of you did all the heavy lifting, and this is to be acknowledged and honored in a sacred way.

Just because it may feel ambiguous, inviting the spiritual into your wedding ceremony doesn’t need to be daunting or feel overbearing. It’s ok to not know, because, guess what? Nobody knows for sure. Just go by your true feelings, and Faith, and you can’t go wrong.

No matter how simple or brief, the sacred can still be included in your wedding ceremony in a way that feels right for you.

Gayle Feallock, Ordained Minister and owner of Just Imagine Weddings & Ministry, has officiated wedding ceremonies in Southern California since 2007. With no religious upbringing, she was a spiritual blank slate and eventually discovered her own spirituality thanks to generous teachers, leaders, mentors and schools. She welcomes all faiths and creates a sacred space for two people to celebrate their love and commitment in their wedding ceremony, for dearest friends and family to witness and support. http://www.justimagineweddings.com

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Desert Wedding Getaway

Posted in Ceremony and Reception Locations, Themes, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2009| Leave a Comment »

My recent visit to Borrego Ranch Resort brought not only incredible pampering and relaxation, but enthusiasm and excitement for a property that yields a bounty of options for a unique and magical wedding celebration.

After a 2-hour drive from San Diego through beautiful countryside, winding roads, and a few small towns, I arrived at Borrego Ranch Resort & Spa and was greeted at reception as if I were family.

Borrego Ranch Resort provides such a warm environment that you almost feel like you are a special guest in someone’s home. The staff is professional and laid-back; addressing your every need with the familiar authority of a gracious hostess. During dinner on the patio there was a slight chill but not enough to warrant lighting up a heater, which can sometimes be obtrusive. Instead the restaurant manager retrieved a pashmina and draped it around my shoulders. Nice touch.

And with so many activities available – rock climbing, golf, spa, croquet, guest speakers, writing and cooking classes, movie nights – even though I was out in the middle of the desert I never felt bored; simply open to possibilities. The environment caters to living in the moment.

A unique feature of BRR is their own rock labyrinth on the property. A rock labyrinth creates a well-defined path that leads to the center and back again. The center represents illumination, a place where people find insights to their problems and concerns. Sort of a walking meditation.

How do you approach a labyrinth in the desert? With a clear intention and an open heart. This is also the best approach to planning your wedding at a paradise getaway.

Such an intimate property is a natural for a wedding weekend. The best option is a resort buyout; easily achieved with a standard size wedding. Imagine full run of the resort with your friends and family!

And then the possibilities for cocktail hours, intimate gatherings, fun activities and of course your ceremony and celebration open up to take advantage of the beautiful resort and landscaping.

I prefer to call it a wedding ‘getaway’ rather than a ‘destination’ wedding, which can sometimes feel loaded with quite a bit more logistics. But with careful planning and experts at hand, it will feel as easy breezy as any weekend retreat.

Ask me about Weddings at Borrego Ranch Resort!

*Check back for more resources and suggestions for a Desert Wedding Getaway

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