Just Imagine Love: Weddings & Ceremonies Blog

What comes to mind when you think of self-reliance? Well, I’ve learned that it doesn’t need to mean suffering alone, or hard work.

In my family there is a strong emphasis and value placed on self-reliance.
When I was a little kid, when other mothers were driving their children to school, my mother worked full-time. That meant I had to get out the door on time to walk the half-mile to the bus stop: rain, snow, or shine.
As a teenager I was thrilled to get my driver license. But before I was allowed to take the car out by myself, Dad made me take a “Powder Puff Mechanics” course (yes, totally sexist, but, it was the ’80s).

He wanted me to be able to fix the car and get myself out of a jam if I found myself stranded. I even learned how to change a spark plug in that class. (Admittedly, even if I were now driving the type of car for which you could still change your own spark plugs, I’d be at a loss.)

And my mother taught me how to cook – such thorough lessons that when I prepared my very first Thanksgiving turkey it came out perfectly.
My parents gave me a gift – teaching me how to gain the skills to trust in myself, to be able to rely on myself.

In my adulthood, of course I continued that disposition of educating myself, both to be able to rely on myself and for the simple fulfilling joy of feeling accomplished and able, whether it was taking Spanish lessons, learning how to fall when you rollerblade(!), or attending Toastmasters to gain speaking skills.

Later in life, my perspective started to shift.
I started to learn another method of self-reliance. I began to learn about Divine connection, Divine alignment. Over the past 15 years I attended courses and workshops on developing my intuition, learning Reiki and Shamanic techniques, meditation classes, spiritual leadership.
Now I rely much more on mySelf, with a capital ‘S’ – my Higher Self. It has become part of my Faith.

If I were stranded on the side of the road today, I wouldn’t know the first thing about how to fix my car. Aside from having zero mechanical talent, I have no desire to.

That might seem terribly irresponsible to some: not facing reality, impractical, or even downright lazy. But that is not the case (also, how many of us know how to fix a Prius?).

Because I have studied for YEARS my connection with the Divine, I’m quite good at manifesting a positive outcome. Practiced for YEARS. Observed for YEARS. It is almost an art form.

And when I manifest a positive outcome, I am often more exhilarated by the act of having manifested, rather than even the outcome itself.

So, while I will try to avoid being stranded by the side of the road – by taking the practical actions of keeping my car well-maintained, making sure there is a spare in the trunk, paying my AAA membership, etc. – if it did happen, I feel certain that with focused intention (you might call it prayer) I would manifest a positive outcome.

Because, Faith, to me, is not a matter of moral constraint. Rather it is a relationship with the Divine, designed to manifest connections of ease, awe, and Joy.

You have within you this same powerful resource. It is not a crutch; it is actually an amplifier of all the ways you, yourself, are Self-reliant.

This post is dedicated to Breonna Taylor. And to all the Black women who have been brutalized and murdered by those who are supposed to protect and serve.

My service as a nondenominational ceremony officiant takes me all over San Diego County (pre-Covid), working with incredible colleagues, and being inspired by my clients, and deeply moved by the expression of love in all its forms.

What I Know for Sure (to quote Oprah’s trademark phrase) is that Love requires action. At least every week, if not every day, I take action to fight for change in our nation, to tear down our white supremacist system of punishment and move toward creating a community of care. My actions sometimes feel so small and ineffective, but I will keep at them with a sense of purpose, and with the conviction of Love. There is so much that we all can do, every day.

I’ll simply share Oprah’s words:

https://www.oprahmag.com/life/a33460398/oprah-magazine-breonna-taylor-cover-artist-alexis-franklin/

“To continue the fight for Breonna Taylor: 1) Sign the WhiteHouse.gov and Color ofChange petitions to demand justice from officials. 2) Call Kentucky’s attorney general, Louisville’s mayor, and Louisville’s interim police chief to demand the officers involved in Breonna’s death are fired and charged with her killing. Visit UntilFreedom.com for guidance. 3) Donate to the Louisville Community Bail Fund to aid protesters fighting in Breonna’s hometown. 4) Hashtag #SayHerName on social media—so no one forgets her: Breonna Taylor.”