Posts Tagged ‘San Diego wedding ceremony officiant’

Recently I’ve been binge-watching Queer Eye (I’ve never seen it before! – came across it on Netflix), and yes admittedly weeping occasionally :-).

At the heart of the show, the Fab 5 are helping people reconnect with who they really are, that bright unique light inside, remembering their own story, and then taking that story forward in a new way.

I realize in many ways that is what my goal is when working with clients. With a wedding couple, my favorite part of the process is hearing their story, how they met, what made them fall in love. Then incorporating their love story in an authentic way into their wedding ceremony.


At Birch Aquarium. Photo by ABM Photography

An opportunity to tell the story of their relationship, and then just imagine it forward into the adventure of their marriage.

When we really connect with who we are, what brings us joy, what brings us purpose – it becomes the essence of any relationship as well.

Even officiating memorial services – maybe especially so – talking with someone about their loved one who has passed is an opportunity to incorporate all the very special qualities of their beloved deceased, the special gifts they brought to the world. Their story of the impact they and their life had on others is the most important aspect of the service.

Rather than just go through the motions of a ritual or tradition, it’s so important to really connect with that part of ourselves, that light, and then have the courage to express it.


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Recently I met with a couple who shared their beautiful story of how they met, and then how he proposed. Immediately after he got down on one knee (and she said yes!), they took off for a camping trip up the coast. The bride-to-be dashed off a few texts to friends and family with the good news.
When they arrived at the campsite they had no reception. Little did they realize what a blessing that became.

For the next 24 hours they basked in their new status, just the two of them in Nature, sharing dreams. Spending that time with only each other.
The next day as they headed off, reception was restored and their phones were full of texts, calls, posts.

Of course it was wonderful to receive all the well wishes. But they realized that if they’d been able, they would have spent all that time on the phone with family, texting with friends, posting pics.
A little delay made all the difference in savoring and remembering that very special time together, off the grid.

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Whatever your spiritual or religious background or current practices (or none at all), including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony is a wonderful way to honor that this relationship, this marriage, is a part of something greater.

Including the ritual of Spirit invites that power into your wedding ceremony and your marriage: it invites the support, the resources, the teachings to move you forward as a couple.

How would you like to honor, represent, invoke, or hope for that?

If you follow a particular religion or faith, there are many established rituals you can include in the wedding ceremony to give reference to that faith.

If you do not belong to a church, temple or any other religious institution, you can still honor your own spiritual beliefs. As it takes a village to support a marriage – from family, friends, community, teachers, and mentors – you might imagine your marriage as being Divinely guided as well.

Are you combining your spiritual or religious practices? Will you be creating new ones together? Really be present to the experience of what you are creating.

You can even write your own thoughts on the matter, to be read by your officiant at the beginning or completion of the ceremony.
Or it might be a ritual that represents those feelings for you.

Some brides and grooms prescribe to the practice of Yoga as their spiritual yoga-picgrounding force. Not that you need to drop into downward dog after your vows, but perhaps you have a favorite yoga mantra you can include in your wedding ceremony.

Or perhaps the teachings of Rumi speak to you – he was a Sufi, quoted from the Qur’an, but his poetry and teachings were considered interdenominational:

When the veils are burned away,

the heart will understand completely

Ancient Love will unfold ever-fresh forms

In the heart of the Spirit, in the core of the heart.



Are you intrigued by Buddhism? What rituals can you weave into the ceremony to bless your union?




A Christian blessing might speak to you as well. Here are some lovely options to consider:

The Prayer of Saint Francis (excerpt)
O Divine, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned


Irish Blessing (excerpt)
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.
May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.
May the joy of living for one another trip a smile from your lips, a twinkle from your eye.

The point of these rituals or blessings is to create a meaningful and visceral experience to help you take note of this moment of your wedding ceremony, this relationship, your place in the world, this transition in your life.

Things to consider when including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony:

It can be a feeling of nostalgia: honoring your past, childhood, family tradition

It can be a hope for the future, a symbol of the people and partners you want to become, the relationship you want to create.

It can be an anchor, from which to take your first steps in this new journey together.

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

There is no need to re-create the wheel. If a ritual or tradition speaks to you, then explore all the ways you might want to include it for all its traditional implications as well as your personal perspective of it.

As an Ordained Minister I believe in the Divine: the gel of Love and Synchronicity and Harmony that holds everything together and moves Life forward.

The “nondenominational” means I do not insist on prescribing to a specific religious tenet to express that belief. I am open to facilitating ceremonies for all faiths in whatever way helps you connect with the Divine as you experience it.

And that is what religious and spiritual rituals are all about: helping you connect with the Divine. Gaining a closer understanding of how the Divine acts and is expressed in your life, and every important transition in your life, including your wedding ceremony.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate, just meaningful. When it comes to the Spirit, keep it simple.
Read more about Navigating the G-word in your Wedding Ceremony.

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