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Posts Tagged ‘Just Imagine Weddings’

Why You Want to Hold A Wedding Rehearsal

It seems like such a simple thing, the wedding ceremony.
Your wedding party lines up, you walk down the aisle, say your “I Dos” and then walk back up the aisle.

What’s to rehearse?

Amazingly – a lot. Even if your ceremony is quite simple, holding a rehearsal is actually a gift, to yourself and your wedding attendants.

It’s the gift called, “On wedding day, nobody has to think.”
All logistics and questions get sorted out, so when the big day arrives, the only order of business is to enjoy yourself.

And guess what!? It’s one more opportunity to hug your friends and family and celebrate at rehearsal dinner afterward.

Even if you have a small gathering and wedding party – for example only a Maid of Honor and Best Man – it’s a great idea to take a half-hour and walk through the order of things. Especially if your ceremony takes place at a unique setting or outdoors.

~Where will you start walking? Who stands where?
~Are the rings on a pillow? With the best man? One with Best Man and one with Maid of Honor?

It is important to practice the lineup so your attendants will feel comfortable with where and how they will stand. Photo by 8twenty8 Studios

It is important to practice the lineup so your attendants will feel comfortable with where and how they will stand. Photo by 8twenty8 Studios

~What about the timing of the music? If you can bring your ipod along or play the processional song on your phone, all the better to practice to make sure you are walking during your favorite part of the song.

~Where will you go once you walk back up the aisle?

You won’t believe how many questions start popping up once you are rehearsing.

Who Should Attend?
Anybody walking down the aisle.
~If some of your wedding party can’t attend due to travel plans, have someone else serve as their stand-in during rehearsal.

~If your grandparents will be included in the processional, it might be challenging for them to attend rehearsal, and that’s ok. It’s a simple thing to fill them in on wedding day of where to walk and sit, before the ceremony begins.

Conducting the Rehearsal
As the wedding officiant, I include conducting rehearsal in my services.
If you have hired a wedding planner (good choice!) they will conduct the rehearsal, and I still attend to review the flow of the ceremony itself.

Rehearsal is also a great time for me to reconnect with the couple in person, especially if I haven’t seen them in the many months or year since we first met.

Orchestrating the Processional
Wedding professionals like to start backward – to line the wedding party up where you will land after the processional. Then practice the recessional (after you have been pronounced married!) and then line up from the beginning to practice walking in.

There are so many fun and unique ways to craft the processional. Especially with more couples having co-ed attendants on each side, you can get really creative:
~Wedding attendants can walk down singly or in pairs or in specific groupings, and from different starting points.
~A groomsman might escort family members, then return to stand in processional line.
~You can create this any way you wish,

Reviewing the Ceremony
Again, how hard can it be? You just say “Yes” or “I Do” when asked a question, right?

Where will you stand during the Unity Ceremony? You can practice this too! Photo by Chelsea Anne Photography

Where will you stand during the Unity Ceremony? You can practice this too! Photo by Chelsea Anne Photography

 

 

If you are including a Unity Ceremony or other ritual, again, great idea to go through the motions.

~Where will the table be that holds the items?
~Will you have your backs to your guests, or facing them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The "HandBinding" ritual includes six questions of vows and commitment. / Photo by Hung C. Tran Photography

The “HandBinding” ritual includes six questions of vows and commitment. / Photo by Hung C. Tran Photography

 

 

~If you are including a HandBinding ritual, is the ribbon you acquired long enough to wrap around your wrists 6 times without cutting off circulation?

 

 

 

 

Even practicing the simple act of the ring exchange is important. That way there is no bafflement or confusion during the actual ceremony:

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

~Which hand to I take?
~Which finger?
~Where does the engagement ring go?

Instead, you can slide that ring on their finger with grace, ease, and confidence.

 

 

 

Because, after all, this is a beautiful production. And, if on your wedding day, you can enter the sacred space of the ceremony with confidence that you and all your loved ones know their roles and tasks, you can focus all your attention and joy on that most important moment of “I DO.”

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Continuing Just Imagine’s July theme of The Business of Love . . .

What if we want it to be Just Us Two?
The answer? A Confidential License

For your wedding ceremony if you would like to ‘elope’ and create a wedding ceremony that includes only the two of you, what are your options when obtaining a marriage license?

{Since ‘elope’ means “to run off secretly,” I prefer to refer to it as Just Us Two – it’s much more romantic and empowering.)

*A standard license is listed as a public record, so anybody can access the information marriage record. You need at least one witness at the ceremony (your officiant doesn’t count).

If you are having a photographer for the ceremony, you can ask them if they will serve as witness.

*A Confidential License simply means that nobody but you two can have access to the license and certificate information (eg. it’s probably a good idea if you’re a tv personality or rockstar) and with this license you don’t need a witness.
The marriage ceremony has to be performed in the same County where the confidential license was acquired, and the confidential license costs an extra $19.
At the same time, the downside is that only the two of you will have access to the records.
So think it through, and if you definitely want it to be “just us two” you can easily have that option.
You can find out more at the San Diego County Clerk’s office
https://arcc.sdcounty.ca.gov/Pages/marriage-licenses.aspx

 

Wedding in the Rose Garden. Photo by Stunning Photography

Wedding in the Rose Garden. Photo by Stunning Photography

 

Teena & Deb celebrated their 10-year anniversary this July by getting married!

It was a beautiful San Diego day and the stunning Rose Garden in Balboa Park suited these two lovely ladies perfectly.

It was such an honor for me to officiate their Just Us Two wedding ceremony (unfortunately Digits the dog couldn’t serve as witness, though was quite willing!)
Congratulations you two!!

 

Photography by Igor & Lana of Stunning Photography

 

 

 

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I just received professional photos for this gorgeous May wedding ceremony! Thank you Katie Jackson – your pics are stunning.

I loved this couple! And officiating their wedding ceremony at the majestic Twin Oaks Golf Course in San Marcos was a treat.

And, thank you to DJ Will Chitwood who handled music and sound for the ceremony with aplomb.

These two were sweet and gracious and really went with the flow.
A few days before their wedding, San Diego had been recently traumatized by wildfires throughout the county, including nearby areas to Twin Oaks.
It was truly a blessing that the fires were finally contained, and we could focus on celebrating new life and true love.

 

A clever frame to the ceremony- rather than an arch: two rustic doors. Photo by Katie Jackson

A clever frame to the ceremony- rather than an arch: two rustic doors. Photo by Katie Jackson

“You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. ” . . .

Gorgeous bride's bouquet from Posy Peddler. Photo by Katie Jackson

Gorgeous bride’s bouquet from Posy Peddler. Photo by Katie Jackson

First look: it's always fun when the couple has a special moment before the ceremony. Photo by Katie Jackson

First look: it’s always fun when the couple has a special moment before the ceremony. Photo by Katie Jackson

I love it when the groomsmen hug it out with the groom as they walk up the aisle to stand alongside him. Photo by Katie Jackson

I love it when the groomsmen hug it out with the groom as they walk up the aisle to stand alongside him. Photo by Katie Jackson

Escorted by Mom. Photo by Katie Jackson

Escorted by Mom. Photo by Katie Jackson

These rings are a promise of the vows you make today . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

These rings are a promise of the vows you make today . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

Mr. and Mrs.! Photo by Katie Jackson

Mr. and Mrs.!
Photo by Katie Jackson

Happy Trails! Photo by Katie Jackson

Happy Trails! Photo by Katie Jackson

 

See more amazing pics at www.katiejacksonblog.com

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Congratulations Laura & Laura! What a beautiful wedding celebration today at Rancho Buena Vista Adobe in Vista.

These two amazing women were such a treat, it was an honor to officiate their wedding ceremony.

They created a very unique Unity Ceremony, inspired by their love of chocolate. And during the ceremony, shared with their guests!

A delicious ceremony treat for wedding guests

A delicious ceremony treat for wedding guests

 

There will be times that are sweet,
filled with cream and honey,
and times that are dark and bittersweet.
And probably some times that are really nutty!
But every experience will nourish your body,
heart and soul.

 

It is a great reminder to get creative with your wedding ceremony! Think about what you love (like chocolate!) and incorporate that into your ceremony.

 

PS. Wedding planner extraordinaire Julie Scrivner pulled everything together with ease!

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Whatever your spiritual or religious background or current practices (or none at all), including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony is a wonderful way to honor that this relationship, this marriage, is a part of something greater.

Including the ritual of Spirit invites that power into your wedding ceremony and your marriage: it invites the support, the resources, the teachings to move you forward as a couple.

How would you like to honor, represent, invoke, or hope for that?

If you follow a particular religion or faith, there are many established rituals you can include in the wedding ceremony to give reference to that faith.

If you do not belong to a church, temple or any other religious institution, you can still honor your own spiritual beliefs. As it takes a village to support a marriage – from family, friends, community, teachers, and mentors – you might imagine your marriage as being Divinely guided as well.

Are you combining your spiritual or religious practices? Will you be creating new ones together? Really be present to the experience of what you are creating.

You can even write your own thoughts on the matter, to be read by your officiant at the beginning or completion of the ceremony.
Or it might be a ritual that represents those feelings for you.

Some brides and grooms prescribe to the practice of Yoga as their spiritual yoga-picgrounding force. Not that you need to drop into downward dog after your vows, but perhaps you have a favorite yoga mantra you can include in your wedding ceremony.

Or perhaps the teachings of Rumi speak to you – he was a Sufi, quoted from the Qur’an, but his poetry and teachings were considered interdenominational:

(excerpt)
When the veils are burned away,


the heart will understand completely


Ancient Love will unfold ever-fresh forms


In the heart of the Spirit, in the core of the heart.

Buddha

 

Are you intrigued by Buddhism? What rituals can you weave into the ceremony to bless your union?

 

 

 

A Christian blessing might speak to you as well. Here are some lovely options to consider:

The Prayer of Saint Francis (excerpt)
O Divine, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned

 

Irish Blessing (excerpt)
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.
May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.
May the joy of living for one another trip a smile from your lips, a twinkle from your eye.

The point of these rituals or blessings is to create a meaningful and visceral experience to help you take note of this moment of your wedding ceremony, this relationship, your place in the world, this transition in your life.

Things to consider when including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony:

It can be a feeling of nostalgia: honoring your past, childhood, family tradition

It can be a hope for the future, a symbol of the people and partners you want to become, the relationship you want to create.

It can be an anchor, from which to take your first steps in this new journey together.

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

There is no need to re-create the wheel. If a ritual or tradition speaks to you, then explore all the ways you might want to include it for all its traditional implications as well as your personal perspective of it.

As an Ordained Minister I believe in the Divine: the gel of Love and Synchronicity and Harmony that holds everything together and moves Life forward.

The “nondenominational” means I do not insist on prescribing to a specific religious tenet to express that belief. I am open to facilitating ceremonies for all faiths in whatever way helps you connect with the Divine as you experience it.

And that is what religious and spiritual rituals are all about: helping you connect with the Divine. Gaining a closer understanding of how the Divine acts and is expressed in your life, and every important transition in your life, including your wedding ceremony.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate, just meaningful. When it comes to the Spirit, keep it simple.
Read more about Navigating the G-word in your Wedding Ceremony.

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