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Posts Tagged ‘spiritual not religious’

Whatever your spiritual or religious background or current practices (or none at all), including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony is a wonderful way to honor that this relationship, this marriage, is a part of something greater.

Including the ritual of Spirit invites that power into your wedding ceremony and your marriage: it invites the support, the resources, the teachings to move you forward as a couple.

How would you like to honor, represent, invoke, or hope for that?

If you follow a particular religion or faith, there are many established rituals you can include in the wedding ceremony to give reference to that faith.

If you do not belong to a church, temple or any other religious institution, you can still honor your own spiritual beliefs. As it takes a village to support a marriage – from family, friends, community, teachers, and mentors – you might imagine your marriage as being Divinely guided as well.

Are you combining your spiritual or religious practices? Will you be creating new ones together? Really be present to the experience of what you are creating.

You can even write your own thoughts on the matter, to be read by your officiant at the beginning or completion of the ceremony.
Or it might be a ritual that represents those feelings for you.

Some brides and grooms prescribe to the practice of Yoga as their spiritual yoga-picgrounding force. Not that you need to drop into downward dog after your vows, but perhaps you have a favorite yoga mantra you can include in your wedding ceremony.

Or perhaps the teachings of Rumi speak to you – he was a Sufi, quoted from the Qur’an, but his poetry and teachings were considered interdenominational:

(excerpt)
When the veils are burned away,


the heart will understand completely


Ancient Love will unfold ever-fresh forms


In the heart of the Spirit, in the core of the heart.

Buddha

 

Are you intrigued by Buddhism? What rituals can you weave into the ceremony to bless your union?

 

 

 

A Christian blessing might speak to you as well. Here are some lovely options to consider:

The Prayer of Saint Francis (excerpt)
O Divine, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned

 

Irish Blessing (excerpt)
May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.
May the light of friendship guide your paths together.
May the laughter of children grace the halls of your home.
May the joy of living for one another trip a smile from your lips, a twinkle from your eye.

The point of these rituals or blessings is to create a meaningful and visceral experience to help you take note of this moment of your wedding ceremony, this relationship, your place in the world, this transition in your life.

Things to consider when including the Spiritual in your wedding ceremony:

It can be a feeling of nostalgia: honoring your past, childhood, family tradition

It can be a hope for the future, a symbol of the people and partners you want to become, the relationship you want to create.

It can be an anchor, from which to take your first steps in this new journey together.

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

Photo credit: Brant Bender Photography

There is no need to re-create the wheel. If a ritual or tradition speaks to you, then explore all the ways you might want to include it for all its traditional implications as well as your personal perspective of it.

As an Ordained Minister I believe in the Divine: the gel of Love and Synchronicity and Harmony that holds everything together and moves Life forward.

The “nondenominational” means I do not insist on prescribing to a specific religious tenet to express that belief. I am open to facilitating ceremonies for all faiths in whatever way helps you connect with the Divine as you experience it.

And that is what religious and spiritual rituals are all about: helping you connect with the Divine. Gaining a closer understanding of how the Divine acts and is expressed in your life, and every important transition in your life, including your wedding ceremony.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate, just meaningful. When it comes to the Spirit, keep it simple.
Read more about Navigating the G-word in your Wedding Ceremony.

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On Sunday I joined fellow Reiki Masters and practitioners on a group field trip to a very special property in Ramona, California. It is a land of labyrinths. The property owners have dedicated their lives to collecting rocks, gems, and crystals and created five unique labyrinths. Each one is designated and designed in such a way to enhance a particular experience.

One beauiful labyrinth is made completely of crystals, another labyrinth was created to focus on inner

The 'Peace' labyrinth, with an incredible grounding crystal at the entrance

The ‘Peace’ labyrinth, with an incredible grounding crystal at the entrance

Peace, one for the Heart, one for Prosperity, and the largest crafted after the famous Chartres labyrinth.

For so many people, and in particular many of my wedding clients who are trying to navigate what it means to be spiritual not religious,’ the labyrinth can be a lovely tool to assist you in experiencing that direct connection with the Divine.

A labyrinth can help solve problems when you enter with a particular question, invoke an experience of the sacred, or simply bring a sense of peace.

When people describe themselves as ‘spiritual not religious, I believe what they are trying to say is that the “reiigious” feels like a predetermined structure and set of rules to abide by; while the “spiritual” is the seeking of that specific set of tools that speaks uniquely to you, designed to transport you to your own direct connection with the Divine.

Happy meandering. . .

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Spiritual not religious: Navigating the G-word in Your Wedding Ceremony 

“We’re spiritual but not religious.” I’m sitting at my favorite Starbucks with a newly engaged couple. They are getting married next spring and we are meeting for the first time to discuss their wedding ceremony.

We’ve talked about how they met, the proposal, why this is the one person they want to spend the rest of their life with, and some ideas of what they would like to include in their ceremony.
As a wedding minister, I love hearing the story of their relationship and encourage them to weave it into their ceremony so their guests can enjoy it as well.

And then we get to this tricky bit:

When I ask them about their religious background and current spiritual practice, many couples respond, “spiritual but not religious.”

And to my followup question of, “What does ‘spiritual’ mean to you?” the answer gets a little more elusive.

Many couples feel a connection to something greater, yet the traditional religion they grew up with no longer resonates with their sense of values and in living their daily life.
And for their wedding ceremony, the idea of a reading from the Bible or mentioning God makes them feel a little squirmy.

One bride responded: “I think being spiritual is being in touch with the Earth, being good to people, understanding there is something greater that helps you out in hard times.”
Other responses have been, “It is living your life to make a difference, to do your best every day” and “I feel a close spiritual connection when I practice yoga.”

Many couples respond with, “I don’t know.” And that is ok.

If you want a truly secular ceremony, you can find a judge, captain on a boat, or have a friend sign up as deputy for a day to officiate your wedding.

If you are choosing not to include a spiritual element in your ceremony simply because it seems confusing or uncomfortable, maybe it doesn’t have to be.

As a nondenominational minister, I do invoke and invite the Divine, but require no proof or definition of your faith. Whatever spiritual means to you, even if you are grappling with that definition, that is what we create for you in the ceremony.

Perhaps your story of how you met had a serendipitious quality. Does it feel like there was something larger at work, ensuring that you two would meet?

Or, maybe your relationship was hard-won: so many obstacles placed before you that it is a marvel you will finally be walking down the aisle at all. In this instance, maybe it was only your faith in each other, in the face of everything else, that kept you two together.

In both cases, or any variation in between, incorporating that experience through a reading could speak to the nature of the Divine in your story.

Some traditional readings are popular and moving for a reason. For example, Corinthians 1-4: “Love is Patient, Love is Kind,” brings everything back to the simple yet powerful concept of love. “The Art of a Good Marriage” helps you to remember to be your best.

But don’t just toss in a reading because it is familiar or easy. Take some time to find something that really moves you and can deliver your idea of the Divine in a way that articulates what you might not be able to. It could even be a popular song lyric or excerpt from a favorite novel.

At the completion of the wedding ceremony, and before I pronounce a couple married, I always say a blessing. I don’t believe a blessing is a restriction, or an agreement with a certain religious scripture. Rather it is a quiet YES: the Divine brought you together, but the two of you did all the heavy lifting, and this is to be acknowledged and honored in a sacred way.

Just because it may feel ambiguous, inviting the spiritual into your wedding ceremony doesn’t need to be daunting or feel overbearing. It’s ok to not know, because, guess what? Nobody knows for sure. Just go by your true feelings, and Faith, and you can’t go wrong.

No matter how simple or brief, the sacred can still be included in your wedding ceremony in a way that feels right for you.

Gayle Feallock, Ordained Minister and owner of Just Imagine Weddings & Ministry, has officiated wedding ceremonies in Southern California since 2007. With no religious upbringing, she was a spiritual blank slate and eventually discovered her own spirituality thanks to generous teachers, leaders, mentors and schools. She welcomes all faiths and creates a sacred space for two people to celebrate their love and commitment in their wedding ceremony, for dearest friends and family to witness and support. http://www.justimagineweddings.com

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