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Posts Tagged ‘expert wedding advice’

If you were getting married in a traditional church, the altar would define the space of your ceremony, and act as the focal point.

But what if Nature is your church?
For an outdoor wedding, the traditional ceremony frame is some version of an arch. The symbolism of the ceremony arch is the home or shelter for the couple, reminiscent of the huppah in the Jewish tradition.

The iconic Coronado beach sets the stage for this simple huppah. Photo by Derek Chad

The iconic Coronado beach sets the stage for this simple huppah. Photo by Derek Chad

With a huppah the couple and officiant actually stand underneath, as logistically it is large enough, with four poles as the structure and a linen serving as the ‘roof.’

When using an arch, sometimes there is room for the officiant to stand beneath the arch and the couple just in front; often times it serves simply as a backdrop.

Put some thought into your intention of the ceremony, beyond the words themselves. Consider creating a FRAME for your wedding ceremony, rather than a structure.

Over the years I’ve been privileged to officiate wedding ceremonies for some very creative couples.

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts as well as a few designs to inspire. Be sure to talk logistics with your florist or designer. {CLICK ON EACH PHOTO FOR LARGER IMAGE}

Simply use the backdrop of America's Finest City. Because, why gild the lily? At Centennial Park on Coronado. Photo by Philip DeFalco

Simply use the backdrop of America’s Finest City. Because, why gild the lily? At Centennial Park on Coronado. Photo by Philip DeFalco

Single frame with gauzy drapes frame a solid grounding boulder amongst the beauty of the trees, at Milagro Winery. The groomsmen crafted the frame themselves so that it held solidly on the ground. Photo by Dinela Photography

Gauzy drapes frame a solid grounding boulder amongst the beauty of the trees, at Milagro Winery. The groomsmen crafted the frame themselves so that it held solidly on the ground. Photo by Dinela Photography

A simple arrangement of two pedestals of vibrant florals sets the space in an elegant way, on the terrace of El Cortez, downtown San Diego. Photo by True Photography

A simple arrangement of two pedestals of vibrant florals sets the space in an elegant way, on the terrace of El Cortez, downtown San Diego. Photo by True Photography

DO: Chandelier crystals sparkle in the sunlight and add a touch of elegance outdoors, at Lomas Santa Fe Country Club DON'T: As officiant it was challenging to stand under the arch in a way that it didn't look like there is a chandelier on my head. Photo by Cavin Elizabeth Photography

DO: Chandelier crystals sparkle in the sunlight and add a touch of elegance outdoors, at Lomas Santa Fe Country Club
DON’T: As officiant it was challenging to stand under the arch in a way that it didn’t look like there is a chandelier on my head. Photo by Cavin Elizabeth Photography

DO: Beautiful vibrant colors add whimsy and fun to this wedding ceremony. DON'T: It was a windy day, and the ribbons kept wrapping around me and going in my face, the baubles flapping in the breeze

DO: Beautiful vibrant colors add whimsy and fun to this wedding ceremony.
DON’T: It was a windy day, and the ribbons kept wrapping around me and going in my face, the baubles flapping in the breeze

Sometimes the ocean is the perfect simple backdrop (Birdrock, La Jolla). Photo by Phil DeFalco

Sometimes the ocean is the perfect simple backdrop (Birdrock, La Jolla). Photo by Phil DeFalco

The doors for the aisle entrance were magical! at Hidden Oaks in Ramona. Photo by Mr. and Mrs. Photography

The doors for the aisle entrance were magical! at Hidden Oaks in Ramona. Photo by Mr. and Mrs. Photography

Let Nature embrace your ceremony. With this simple approach there are no distractions and the wedding party created a beautiful boundary. Photo by Mr. and Mrs. Photography

Let the majesty of trees embrace your ceremony. With this simple approach there are no distractions and the wedding party created a beautiful boundary, at Hidden Oaks in Ramona. Photo by Mr. and Mrs. Photography

These simple old doors added to the vintage appeal of the wedding theme and blended in nicely with the beautiful greenery of the outdoors at Twin Oaks Golf Club in San Marcos. Photo by  Katie Jackson Photography

These simple old doors added to the vintage appeal of the wedding theme and blended in nicely with the beautiful greenery of the outdoors at Twin Oaks Golf Club in San Marcos. Photo by Katie Jackson Photography

These wine boxes designate the space and frame the breathtaking view of cliffside ceremony at Seagrove Park; serve as a table; and also fit the theme of this wine-lover couple. Photo by StudioZ

These wine boxes and tables designate the space and frame the breathtaking view of cliffside ceremony at Seagrove Park; serve as a table; and also fit the theme of this wine-lover couple. Photo by StudioZ

Scroll to the end of this article for pics of ceremony spaces for book lovers!
http://www.ameliste.co.uk/tips-and-advice/wedding-decoration/218-tips-and-diy-ideas/992-creative-wedding-arch

Despite your feelings about this couple, what a gorgeous ceremony backdrop! Installation of white gardenias, white peonies and white roses. Floral backdrops are becoming more popular!

Whatever your impression about this couple, what a gorgeous ceremony backdrop! Installation of white gardenias, white peonies and white roses. Floral backdrops are becoming more popular!

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I’m meeting with an engaged couple and they are telling me what is important to them about their wedding ceremony.

“We just want it to be short and simple.”

When you say “short and simple,” what do you really mean?

If you want to get it over with, you can easily pop down to the county clerk and make it happen today. Here’s all the info for a San Diego wedding: https://arcc.sdcounty.ca.gov/Pages/marriage-licenses.aspx

Short and simple.

Maybe what you really mean is that you don’t want to be bored, or to bore your guests. Maybe you don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable with flowery language or emotional vows. Or that the wedding ceremony seems like such a big unknown and it’s a little nerve-wracking to go exploring.

Or maybe what you really want is to be authentic. An opportunity to experience this momentous occasion in a way that feels natural and true to you.
I can help you with that.

An emphatic "I Do!". Photo by Cassidy Hall

An emphatic “I Do!”. Photo by Cassidy Hall

Because it’s not about how long the ceremony is. It’s about connecting to the experience. As a nondenominational minister and officiant of sacred ceremonies, I can help you find ways – through readings, rituals, and expressing your personal story – for your family and friends to connect, too.

When it’s authentic–truly you–every moment of your wedding ceremony will feel good and exciting and inspiring.

When it’s authentic, you will create a memory that is so vivid you will be able to describe it in detail for the rest of your lives: when your kids ask you about your wedding; when you celebrate your 50th anniversary.

Authentic is unforgettable. Photo by Cassidy Hall

Authentic is unforgettable. Photo by Cassidy Hall

 

 

Short and simple is ok. Authentic is unforgettable.

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WeddingWire

WeddingWire

This review that popped up on Wedding Wire Dec. 28 is one of the best holiday gifts I could receive, and a pretty great wrap-up to a great year.

Sometimes I wish I could give my clients reviews and testimonials.

They so inspire, delight, and surprise me.

My purpose is driven by guiding clients to pause, notice, honor and celebrate, important moments in their life.

We don’t pause often enough.

A sacred ceremony or celebration is an opportunity to step out of all the “DO-ingness” of life for a moment, and experience the BEING-ness.

Time can slow down in these moments.

And you might experience a bit of greatness within yourself and your loved ones, that you hadn’t previously known.

In the new year, if you are . . .

planning your wedding

crafting a memorial service to say goodbye to a loved one

welcoming a new little life into yours, with a baby blessing

 

. . . please know that no matter how seemingly traditional your ceremony might be, you have so much creativity, beauty, and inspiration inside of you, and you can’t imagine where that can take you.

Taking the time to honor these times will make you shine, and those around you will be honored to see it, whether they are professionals helping you craft your celebration, or your dearest friends, who get to see you in a whole new light. And they just might want to give you a rave review.

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Why You Want to Hold A Wedding Rehearsal

It seems like such a simple thing, the wedding ceremony.
Your wedding party lines up, you walk down the aisle, say your “I Dos” and then walk back up the aisle.

What’s to rehearse?

Amazingly – a lot. Even if your ceremony is quite simple, holding a rehearsal is actually a gift, to yourself and your wedding attendants.

It’s the gift called, “On wedding day, nobody has to think.”
All logistics and questions get sorted out, so when the big day arrives, the only order of business is to enjoy yourself.

And guess what!? It’s one more opportunity to hug your friends and family and celebrate at rehearsal dinner afterward.

Even if you have a small gathering and wedding party – for example only a Maid of Honor and Best Man – it’s a great idea to take a half-hour and walk through the order of things. Especially if your ceremony takes place at a unique setting or outdoors.

~Where will you start walking? Who stands where?
~Are the rings on a pillow? With the best man? One with Best Man and one with Maid of Honor?

It is important to practice the lineup so your attendants will feel comfortable with where and how they will stand. Photo by 8twenty8 Studios

It is important to practice the lineup so your attendants will feel comfortable with where and how they will stand. Photo by 8twenty8 Studios

~What about the timing of the music? If you can bring your ipod along or play the processional song on your phone, all the better to practice to make sure you are walking during your favorite part of the song.

~Where will you go once you walk back up the aisle?

You won’t believe how many questions start popping up once you are rehearsing.

Who Should Attend?
Anybody walking down the aisle.
~If some of your wedding party can’t attend due to travel plans, have someone else serve as their stand-in during rehearsal.

~If your grandparents will be included in the processional, it might be challenging for them to attend rehearsal, and that’s ok. It’s a simple thing to fill them in on wedding day of where to walk and sit, before the ceremony begins.

Conducting the Rehearsal
As the wedding officiant, I include conducting rehearsal in my services.
If you have hired a wedding planner (good choice!) they will conduct the rehearsal, and I still attend to review the flow of the ceremony itself.

Rehearsal is also a great time for me to reconnect with the couple in person, especially if I haven’t seen them in the many months or year since we first met.

Orchestrating the Processional
Wedding professionals like to start backward – to line the wedding party up where you will land after the processional. Then practice the recessional (after you have been pronounced married!) and then line up from the beginning to practice walking in.

There are so many fun and unique ways to craft the processional. Especially with more couples having co-ed attendants on each side, you can get really creative:
~Wedding attendants can walk down singly or in pairs or in specific groupings, and from different starting points.
~A groomsman might escort family members, then return to stand in processional line.
~You can create this any way you wish,

Reviewing the Ceremony
Again, how hard can it be? You just say “Yes” or “I Do” when asked a question, right?

Where will you stand during the Unity Ceremony? You can practice this too! Photo by Chelsea Anne Photography

Where will you stand during the Unity Ceremony? You can practice this too! Photo by Chelsea Anne Photography

 

 

If you are including a Unity Ceremony or other ritual, again, great idea to go through the motions.

~Where will the table be that holds the items?
~Will you have your backs to your guests, or facing them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The "HandBinding" ritual includes six questions of vows and commitment. / Photo by Hung C. Tran Photography

The “HandBinding” ritual includes six questions of vows and commitment. / Photo by Hung C. Tran Photography

 

 

~If you are including a HandBinding ritual, is the ribbon you acquired long enough to wrap around your wrists 6 times without cutting off circulation?

 

 

 

 

Even practicing the simple act of the ring exchange is important. That way there is no bafflement or confusion during the actual ceremony:

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

With this ring . . . Photo by Katie Jackson

~Which hand to I take?
~Which finger?
~Where does the engagement ring go?

Instead, you can slide that ring on their finger with grace, ease, and confidence.

 

 

 

Because, after all, this is a beautiful production. And, if on your wedding day, you can enter the sacred space of the ceremony with confidence that you and all your loved ones know their roles and tasks, you can focus all your attention and joy on that most important moment of “I DO.”

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Continuing Just Imagine’s July theme of The Business of Love . . .

What if we want it to be Just Us Two?
The answer? A Confidential License

For your wedding ceremony if you would like to ‘elope’ and create a wedding ceremony that includes only the two of you, what are your options when obtaining a marriage license?

{Since ‘elope’ means “to run off secretly,” I prefer to refer to it as Just Us Two – it’s much more romantic and empowering.)

*A standard license is listed as a public record, so anybody can access the information marriage record. You need at least one witness at the ceremony (your officiant doesn’t count).

If you are having a photographer for the ceremony, you can ask them if they will serve as witness.

*A Confidential License simply means that nobody but you two can have access to the license and certificate information (eg. it’s probably a good idea if you’re a tv personality or rockstar) and with this license you don’t need a witness.
The marriage ceremony has to be performed in the same County where the confidential license was acquired, and the confidential license costs an extra $19.
At the same time, the downside is that only the two of you will have access to the records.
So think it through, and if you definitely want it to be “just us two” you can easily have that option.
You can find out more at the San Diego County Clerk’s office
https://arcc.sdcounty.ca.gov/Pages/marriage-licenses.aspx

 

Wedding in the Rose Garden. Photo by Stunning Photography

Wedding in the Rose Garden. Photo by Stunning Photography

 

Teena & Deb celebrated their 10-year anniversary this July by getting married!

It was a beautiful San Diego day and the stunning Rose Garden in Balboa Park suited these two lovely ladies perfectly.

It was such an honor for me to officiate their Just Us Two wedding ceremony (unfortunately Digits the dog couldn’t serve as witness, though was quite willing!)
Congratulations you two!!

 

Photography by Igor & Lana of Stunning Photography

 

 

 

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