Just Imagine Love: Weddings & Ceremonies Blog

I’m standing under the floral arch, about to officiate a wedding ceremony, watching the wedding party and then the bride proceed up the aisle. There is such a feeling of excitement and joy and, “wow – this is really happening” that I see on the faces of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and especially the couple.

Then the bride and groom are standing before me. I encourage them to take a breath before I begin the ceremony. Their guests all sit down. As I look out upon the crowd, I see: not smiling attentive faces, but a sea of phones – held high taking pics or running video.

As a Minister who loves to connect with people, it’s hard to get the warm fuzzies while gazing upon a bunch of phones.

I completely appreciate the desire of friends and family to record the moment, the excitement of posting on Facebook or tweeting as it’s happening.

So . . . what if you—the bride and groom–gave them permission not to? It might take the pressure off.

Then they could just sit there. And enjoy the warmth of the sun, or a cool breeze. And look at their friends up there under the arch and think, “Wow, I’m really happy for them,” or, “I love hearing their vows to each other,” or “I am so glad the minister told their story, I never knew that about my friends.”

Because, it’s actually a big deal. It’s a really big deal to stand up there and promise to commit to this other person, body and soul, for the rest of your life.

You’ve invited your friends and family to serve as witness, and as your support and community. You have not hired them as photographers and reporters.

If you have not hired a professional videographer or photographer, it is perfectly reasonable to invite a few people to take on that role. Of course you want the moment captured.

But even more importantly, connecting with your friends and family on this level happens probably only a very few times in your lifetime. Enjoy the moment, and invite them to as well.

As bride and groom you are the host of your event, from start to finish, so decisions like this will always ultimately be yours, as they should.

I can appreciate arguments from both sides – to FB or not to FB in the moment.
I am simply asking the question. Then, if you do decide you would rather your guests not post and tweet during your ceremony, there are many polite and thoughtful ways to communicate your wishes.

I think we are so fortunate to have access to the technology that we do – it has certainly allowed me to experience and create some amazing things.

But in this moment of the pure emotion of sharing your vows, no technology will ever replace a warm gaze, seeing your aunt tear up, or a friend smile up at you from her seat among the crowd.

If I were performing wedding ceremonies in a church or temple, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

But, the sacred is wherever you choose to create it.

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