Just Imagine Love: Weddings & Ceremonies Blog

The Vital Importance of Time Off

Productivity. Creativity. Goals. Plans. Tasks. To-dos.

We are MACHINEs of doing. Even if we’re not doing, we’re thinking about doing.

I am a master of (and guilty of!) this myself. So much so, that my Shaman training teacher recently prescribed for me a Do-Nothing Day.

If you are in need of the same, here are a few guidelines:

*Do “nothing” that contributes to anything in particular. To the best of my ability, be ok with just being. (If you, like me, feel a sometimes overwhelming and constant push to create and produce, you will know how daunting this prescription sounded.)

*Do nothing is not only in regard to physical activity or productivity. Almost more importantly it is a MENTAL do nothing. It is to keep at bay the pressuring thoughts of obligation and responsibility.

And it isn’t lost on me that, when working with couples to craft their ceremonies, I often remind them that throughout their wedding planning process – creating the ceremony being just one of thousands of their to-dos – it is important to take time off.

Take time to NOT do any wedding planning, and to remember why they fell in love, and to enjoy being engaged. Being engaged is not simply the amount of time it takes to plan a wedding.

Being ENGAGED means exactly that – appreciating each other, noticing, enjoying that time period of transition to marriage.
When approached in this state, being engaged can be a wonderful time of reflection and anticipation.

*In carving out a Do-Nothing Day, I’m not talking about doing nothing because you’re procrastinating. That means something is hanging over your head, and that doesn’t feel good. “I really have to order that color swatch, or decide on a reading, or sort out the seating plan.” If you’re thinking about these things then your Do-Nothing Day has just turned into one of anxiety.

*Rather, PLAN for a Do-Nothing Day in your schedule – BOOK IT OUT. This means you’ve also scheduled time for all of those tasks and appointments on other days. You’ve taken care of your mental health by ensuring you have time to do all of those things on your to-do list.

To prepare for my prescribed day off, the day BEFORE, I got all of my work done in crafting ceremony items and writing and responding to emails. I did some grocery shopping, cleaned my kitchen. I made sure all of those things that might interrupt my Do-Nothing Day were taken care of. And, I had plenty of productivity items scheduled for the day AFTER. In this way I structured giving myself permission to actually ENJOY my day off.

• I slept in.
• Upon waking, I meditated for 10 minutes (in itself a mini break since I usually spend closer to 20-30 minutes).
• I made coffee and a big breakfast.
• Set myself up on my patio with a good book, and enjoyed the most leisurely breakfast outside with the birds chirping, the quiet of the neighborhood.
• I watched a movie on Netflix.
• I made myself some lunch and read some more.
• I stared up at the clouds (have you ever done that? just look up at the clouds)
• I binge-watched “Schitt’s Creek” on Netflix.
• Made myself a snack.
• Took a very long nap.
• Sat around.

. . . and any time I started thinking about things I needed to do, I made a concerted effort to change my thoughts. This was probably more challenging then curbing the physical impulse to organize or email or write, etc.

It’s not so easy for us producing-philes. Multiple times throughout my Do-Nothing Day, thoughts crept in: ” . . . I really should do some weeding in the yard,” “I need to go to Target to get those things,” “I should write that email, (letter, FB post, etc.)“. It dogged me. And I took a breath and reminded myself, “I scheduled time for that tomorrow.”

Somehow, the Universe seemed to conspire to support my Do-Nothing Day. My phone and email were eerily quiet. Nobody seemed to need me.

The very next morning I woke up and this entire blog post poured out of me onto the page.

*This, I discovered, is the whole point. Ironically, scheduling a Do-Nothing Day actually has a positive and productive outcome. Your body and brain get to rest, percolate, recharge.
My goal (there is that word again) is to schedule a Do-Nothing Day once a month.

I invite (challenge?) you to do the same over the course of planning your wedding.

On the other hand, when they were planning their wedding, Courtney and Kelsey say, “Don’t designate days to enjoy the engagement, rather designate days to wedding planning and the rest of the time is open to enjoy the engagement.”

Whichever approach works for you, remember to leave time just to BE.

What is my takeaway of a Do-Nothing Day? Surprising benefits:

~a problem that has been dogging you, suddenly the day after a Do-Nothing Day, the solution reveals itself
~you might have a burst of energy the next day, and get everything on your to-do list accomplished within half the time you anticipated
~a little time off allows your mind some creative space – a new idea might pop into your head
~for those of you planning your wedding, you just might fall in love, all over again.

Just imagine . . .