Just Imagine Love: Weddings & Ceremonies Blog

Wedding celebrations are hug central. At a wedding you can witness every type of hug: from the fleeting squeeze of a young child to the long embrace of those who are seeing each other for the first time in years. 

And it’s led me to think about all the different social situations throughout a day that call for a hug.

I don’t consider myself to be a casual hugger. Some people love to hug at the very first introduction – offering their ‘heart space’ and the ‘we are all one’ philosophy. I think that works well for some and I applaud that way of living. It’s just not me.

In the same way that saying “I love you” is a significant act for me, when I hug, I mean it.  I might feel resentful at the social pressure to hug those I don’t really know or care for (and then of course that resentment is usually followed by guilt at not just acquiescing). 

Not to mention the inconvenient or awkward hug. Like when I have my arms full of books or groceries and the hugger wants to dive in for a full-body.

If I’m not feelin’ it, that means either the hugger is out of integrity, or I am.

So, what to do in this socially awkward situation? I’ve attempted to aggressively extend my hand to ward off the hug, and yet I always find myself in the awkward embrace. Apparently their resolve wins out over mine. (This question might best be put to Larry David, king of awkward social situations.)

A friend of mine, blessedly, appreciated my philosophy, saying, “your personal space is all you have left really, and you shouldn’t have to apologize for whom you allow to enter it.” 

I greatly appreciate other non-huggers. I have a feeling that when they give a hug, they really mean it, too.

In a few days I’m headed to Los Angeles to experience a hug from Amma, the Indian “hugging saint” who is currently touring the US.  [www.amma.org]

I first became aware of Amma nearly 15 years ago watching the Lonely Planet travel show, as my favorite intrepid traveler and narrator, Justine Shapiro, stood in line for hours for an Amma hug. I’ve wanted that experience ever since – and now the opportunity finally arrives.

So, given that Amma is a total stranger to me, perhaps I am being a bit of a hypocrite. But the fact that she is a professional hugger I believe makes her the exception to my hug rules.

At the very least I will most likely experience the best hug of my life. Beyond that, who knows: I might become a convert of the no-boundaries hugger.

Wikipedia: HUG

Depending on culture, context and relationship, a hug can indicate familiarity, love, affection or friendship. . . . One person may hug another as an indication of support, comfort, and consolation. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone. Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange.