In addition to traditional vows, you might want to share your personal vows with each other.
What Should I Say?
*It helps to think about your intention for your marriage. What are you actually ‘vowing’ to do? For example:
~Support each other
~Love each other unconditionally
~Do your best in your own growth and awareness
~Create a dream together
*You might also include what you love about this person. Why are they unique?
*What do you love that you have together? What is it that only you two share?
From this moment, I, Joe, take you Susan
as my best friend for life.
I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you
through our walk together.
When our way becomes difficult,
I promise to stand by you and uplift you,
so that through our union
we can accomplish more than we could alone.
When and How?
*Generally, your personal vows are expressed prior to the traditional vows, which are then followed by the ring exchange (the rings being a symbol of your expressed vows).
~You can write your vows on a card. Some people like the technology of their phone – personally I think the expression is more sacred with pen to paper.
~You can say them off the top of your head.
~You can write them two weeks in advance, or on the morning of the wedding.
The important thing here is to be yourself. If spontaneity is your thing, don’t try to force a prepared speech. And just smile at everyone who is pressuring you to write your vows – even your fiance.
*Alternatively you can write your shared vows together for your officiant to read, to which you simply respond, “I do” or “I will”:
Susan, will you take Joe to be your friend and your lifelong travel companion.
Will you share your life with his, build your dreams together, support him in times of trouble and rejoice with him in times of happiness.
Ultimately, this is a beautiful expression of your unique love story. It can be whatever you want.
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